To express love

I just hugged my little brother and told him how I missed him lately.

That kind of impulsive gesture of affection is actually not my thing. But I don't know, I just had the urge to hug him that moment, hahaha..

Not that I don't love him or everyone around me, no. I love him, I love my whole family, I love my friends and I love my love (heee..). And I love, for instance, when my mom hug me, when my uncle kiss my head like I'm still his favorite little niece, when my dad kiss my forehead on special occasion, when my little sister hold my arm, and when my big brother hug me. I just don't get used to do it to express how I love them, probably because I'm awkward and not the type of a clingy person. But not with my mom. I can hug her and kiss her and always hold her hand whenever we're together.

Anyway, I have this plenty of love and I'm learning to express it better.

Sudden appreciation

Even though we're not hiding anything...
I love when I'm next to you and you're next to me but not as a copy writer and a graphic designer, and we don't have to worry about them and the crappy stuff.

Coffee and Bibils

Whooa, it's Friday night guling-guling time!

I want coffee too, moooo..

Actually, I got nothing to do.. but well.. I don't need anything to do when all I got is this bottle of goodness. It's a cool way to indulge my iced coffee (or should I say, Frappuccino?) craving. Plus, it's a cheaper way to enjoy Starbucks. Well, not that cheap, but... still.. hahahaha...

Oh, I almost forget to introduce my buddy. That is Bibils. He's been with me since high school and he was such a good buddy for me and my beloved college mates/roomies during our final project. Wondering why? Oh, why don't you figure it out here, hahaha. Bibils is now officially staying in our living room, and it seems like he's trying to snatch my coffee.

Enjoy your weekends, folks!

Confession of a non-morning person and a coffee slave in the holy month

I am not a morning person. No. It takes a lot of efforts to make my morning. Though my morning has always been in a rush, everything has to be done in order, if not perfect.

I need a good sleep and wake up in a good mood for a start. I need to take a shower and wash away the magical dust that the sandman sprinkled to put me to sleep. I need to blow-dry my long frizzy hair so it becomes friendly enough for the whole day. I need to wear some good scent to boost my mood up and dress my self with proper yet comfortable clothes (mostly jeans and T-shirt, haha).

Last but totally not the least... I must have (it is a mandatory from my self to me) a decent breakfast, and lately, breakfast must include a good coffee. That's all. That's all I need to make my morning. Slightly wrong moves would pretty much disturb me and probably ruin my mood. No body wants to 'wake-up' the sleepy moody bear, right?

And since now is a fasting month, morning is not a good friend of mine. I have told you before that this month, this holiest month, is the sleepiest month for me. And holding on to anger is something always out of my grasp on this month. So, when it comes to bad morning mood, I put a lot of effort to deal with it. Sleepy, hungry, uncaffeinated, and hold on the emotion. Tough, huh?!

Why do I keep whining about this? Am I wrong if I want this fasting month to be over? Can I be accused as a bad moslem? I just want a normal, peaceful and caffeinated morning.

Cranky grumpy me

Like any other girl on this planet, I can be so cranky and grumpy whenever the syndrome comes, the pre-menstruation syndrome, to be exact. Try me, try to annoy me, even if you think it's not annoying enough, I will explode. And, how I wish everyone, especially those creatures from Mars who never know how this cycle ruins both physically and mentally, would easily understand this pain.

I guess this holy month is going to be the worst PMS I ever experienced. Lack of sleep and nutrition, physically tired and mentally disturbed by the office hours are killing me. And the fact that this hasn't started yet, the fact that I am fasting and having PMS at the same time is totally suck!

I think I will call in sick tomorrow.

Sorry guys, a girl is having her hard time here and no matter how comprehensive (or not!) this post to convince you that this is really hard, you will never understand. I know that. Just, give me a break.

"Even bears sleep only for 10 hours, Kak."

This is Ramadhan, the holiest month, and yes, the sleepiest month. I am not good at keeping my biological time during this fasting month. Either I sleep too much, or too little. It gets worst because this year, I am employed. I cannot wake-up at 10 am like I did for 5 years in college, hahaha. So most of my days at the office, I feel very sleepy, especially from 2 to 3 pm.

Weekends (means, Saturday and Sunday night) are the only time I can sleep the whole days. I go to bed quite late (after midnight), wake for sahur, and sleep until noon. On Saturday nights, I spent 12 hours of sleep. Hahhahahahaha...

Just hours ago, I talked about this with Ari, my little brother. He knows I refer myself as a bear that loves to hibernate during this month. But then he said nothing better than this. "Even bears sleep only for 10 hours, Kak."

And I thought that hillarious!

Things about that thingy

Living in the over-communicated society is not a pleasant thing. Lately, I've been really bothered with this BlackBerry thingy.. Not the phone, no. So don't treat this blog as a threat for the company who brought that berry to the community. This is about the community, frankly saying.

Everybody has it. I don't know, maybe 9 out of 10 has it. It would not be a big problem if the berry has no 'special' thing called 'BBM'. It is now a problem (oh why?!) just because people tends to rely on that service too much!

I had many "Sorry, I'm not a BlackBerry person" kind of situation. But these past 3 days were the days that I really really questioning the people, the community, and of course, questioning my self.

Situation #1: Oh don't worry, I know whether you're around or not.

Location: Meeting Room - Office

Mrs. T: Dear, you're gonna be really really busy for the next 3 months. The Sale is coming, and after The Sale, the next promo is our revamped spa line. It has 4 ranges, so, yeah, you're going to be very busy.

Me: On the other words, I am going to come to your cubicle more often to consult about this and that.

Mrs. T: Of course. I'll be waiting for that. But, oh, do you have BlackBerry?

Me: No, Ma'am.

Mrs. T: Oh. The thing is, you know, I'm not working here for 5 days straight. On and Off... So... uhm..

Me: Oh, I know. Let me just find out whether you're around or not. Not a big problem.

I could just go to level 4 and straight to your cubicle. If you're not there, I'll ask somebody. The probabilities are only 2: you're on or off.

Situation #2: Ungroup Me, I'm okay. There's no way you can contact me but through your so called 'group'

Location: Mall, just walked by.

Her: Oh my God, how are you?

Me: Hi! I'm fine! How are you? You're looking gorgeous. Did you lost some weight?

Her: (grin) Yeah. You too! (squeezing my arm)

Me: (giggle)

Her: Hey, we're planning to have our meet-up next week and have some break fast together. Did you know?

Me: Really? When?

Her: Yeah! Oh, I don't have your pin numbers.

Me: (very much aware of what she meant by that terminology of 'pin numbers') I don't use BlackBerry.

Her: Oh... why? We're all talking about this meet-up in the group.

Me:(silent)

Her: Oh, whatever. I'll let you know on Facebook as soon as we get the date. Make sure you come!

Yeah right, that group thing makes me even more alienated. Why don't you ask my number and text me?

Situation #3: Oh, it is not.

Location: Party at friend's cafe

Him: Hey, can I get your pin numbers?

Me: (I was pulling out my cellphone, trying to call a friend) ...

Him: (took a good look on my ordinary cellphone) Oh, it's not...

Me: Yeah, it is not. Oh, hello? (friend over the phone finally answered the phone)

No, even if I had that BB thing, that wouldn't make our relationship gets any better.



See what I've been concerned about? I feel intimidated, to be honest. Being different and 'judged' just because I'm not using that thing! I choose not to use that but the community is very annoying! I don't wanna be disturbed by 'ping', especially by someone from the office at inappropriate time. I know some of them got 'pinged' at 3 am saying, "meeting tomorrow at 4 pm." That is stupid.

I don't wanna be always caught in the act, holding and staring at my BlackBerry all the time when I suppose to have a real conversation with others. What kind of life is that? Plus, I have enough life in digital world. I still embrace my real life in the real world. So, when people asked me why didn't I use BlackBerry, I said, "I have a life. Real life."

Oh how I wish I could just worried about the black berries for my fruit salad.

sniff, sniff..

Of all the senses I've known, my ability to differ one scent to another is kinda suck. I'm actually an audio-visual person. For me, seeing and hearing is believing, hahahaha..

I love several scents, though. The scent of coffee, baby, freshly baked baking goodies and subtle yet fresh perfumes. It's not easy for me to tell differences between, for example, one flower to another, one perfume to another. So for me, if it smells good, wear it!

But with all my insensitiveness, hundreds of olfactory receptors of mine can easily refer one scent to something, or someone. For example, I still remember how my friend's old house smells like. I also (now) can choose a perfect scent for somebody who is really close to me. Like I did when I picked a body mist for my best friend.

I also recently appreciate Y's sweet yet warm scent. I kept sniffing the scent that is left on his jacket and try to lock the scent in my mind. So, right now, though he's not around, I can still remember how his smell. And when he's around, his smell gives me kind of something.. like.. "oh-this-is-you" kind of feeling. Weird, huh? Hihi.

Being a copy writer in a cosmetic company has pushed me to enhance my sense of smell. I should know whenever I have to write these words: zesty, musky, earthy, warm, dreamy, sweet, etc. I have to broaden my olfaction knowledge and try to appreciate the slightest difference between one scent and another.

I do!

I feel the urge to say the word. Why? Because I do! I really really do. I'm not kidding. This is real.

Never say it is killing me. But I'm not quite brave enough.

I hate myself for being this stupid little coward :(

Cinderella's yo'i shoes

I have shoes, uhm (clearing throat), or should I call, "yo'i shoes", that I have worn for almost 4 years. They're very comfortable and very cute in appearance though they now seem very worn out. I never loved shoes this much!

And why again "Cinderella"? It's just because Cinderella was one of my favorite Disney Princess character. Against its story that lacks the spirit of feminism, independency, emancipation, whatsoever, I somehow love to refer myself as Cinderella. Stupid? Well.. ahahahahahahah...

Okay, enough the story of Cinderella. Now I'm talking about my shoes. Don't get me wrong, I do want to buy a new pair, but I am very picky when it comes to shoes (more than clothes). I want the same kind of white sneakers with velcro, not lace. I told everyone, if I could have the exact same pair of shoes, I would buy two pairs at once! Just because I don't get a new pair yet, I won't change. They're still wearable though.

Out of blue, Y took my shoes off and took some pictures of them with Ditha's camera. And here they are.. my dear yo'i shoes.

Yo'i!

Now, you're wondering what kind of Cinderella would love to wear those kind of shoes instead the unwearable-not-so-pretty-because-you-look-barefoot glass shoes, aren't you? Well.. I'm not an ordinary Cinderella. I am way too cool than her! Hahahahahahahahaha.

Chocolate Cake and Petite Friends

Boredom kills, you know..

I felt very sleepy though I had my usual iced caramel macchiato after lunch.

Full tummy even made everything worst. Heavy lunch plus a couple spoons of boss' birthday chocolate cake has never been this sicken. Don't get me wrong, my lunch and that chocolate cake were delicious but, they're too wholesome. Plus, no job, nothing to do. I was dead that time.

So I took these pictures and started to made up a story.

"Hey, little guy. What are you doing?" asked Buzz.

"This chocolate cake is uhmm.. yum!" answered the Turtle.

Along came Octopus. "Really? Can I have a bite?"

Then Donkey join the club. "Smell chocolatey.."

Nom..nom..

"Yeah, this is good stuff!"

"It's dark.. darker than my own ink.. oh how I love.."

"What? That's all?"

I managed to kill the boredom.

Hurray for chocolate cake and petite friends!

Tuesday morning surprise

I walked to my desk this morning and suddenly stopped. My jaw dropped and felt a little bit strange.

Something is weird.

The line of cute Donkey, toys and figurines of mine and Ditha's Jack Jack on my desk were the ones that attracted me first.

They're lining up...

and looked very happy.

Oh, how come I got more space on my desk?

Then, I realized a change.

THE MONITOR, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!

I screamed. Fortunately, there's no one in the room that time, oh, there was uncle, and he wasn't aware of my scream until I asked him to come to my desk.

"Isn't it cool, uncle?" I asked him.

"Finally! It's great! You don't have to worry about your eyes anymore. And look, you got more space there." He said ecstatically.

Then I run to Arief's desk, my former co-worker and found out that his monitor has gone. Yes. Somebody swapped my monitor to his monitor.

I didn't have to ask anybody who did this. Of course, I knew who did this. Nobody but Y, hahahaha.. I grabbed my cellphone and called him (woke him up, to be exact) gratefully.

So, this was my morning happy face. As happy as those toys, figurines and of course, Donkey.

Guys, let's take a happy picture!

This is my desk looks like now. Oh how I love to have more space on my desk!! :D :D :D

So long, CRT. Hello, LCD.

Lookin' better now

Thank you, Y for being very thoughtful :)