It's written a day after my grandpa passed away. I finally posted it days after just because I... had no strength even to proofread and post it.
I love him... and I owe him a lot. And he went away before I finally fulfill his dreams. But, as a grand daughter.. I am so very proud of him. His fighting spirit, his honesty, his warm heart will always remain in me. This post is dedicated to him, my dearest Ompung Raja.
Battle was your life.
And never once you gave up.
Because giving up is not your friend.
Life is.
And when the last battle's over.
It's not you giving your life up.
It's you, being very nice to welcome the next life.
Adieu, Lieutenant.
Love,
Cacha.
Showing posts with label between life and love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label between life and love. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
When you've been working like a dog, have some dogs. Chili dogs.
It's been a hard week for Y. He got a ton of works, several deadlines and a cranky girlfriend :P Exhausted and sleepless but still maintained our Saturdate. He came to my house quite late (around 5 pm) and hadn't eat for the whole day -________-
So, while Y hadn't arrived yet and Pak Diman was still around, I asked Pak Diman to drive me to the nearest grocery store. There were several menu items in my head and I wasn't able to decide what to cook that moment. So I grabbed all the things I needed: buns, cheese frankfurters, ground beef, onions, soy sauce, ice cream, coffee and chips. When I finally got back home, with a fixed menu in my head, I rushed to the kitchen and started to cook a beefy cheesy wholesome chili dog (without the heat, of course).
Here's the simplest recipe. It's a combination of Beef Bolognaise sauce and hot dog. Easy peasy.
Chili Sauce:
250g ground beef
4 tbsp of store-bought bolognaise sauce
1 onion
2 tbsp of tomato sauce (optional)
1 tsp of oregano
grated parmesan or cheddar cheese (depends on how cheesy you want it to be. For me, the more, the merrier :D)
1 tbsp butter
2 cloves of garlic, finely minced
Salt and pepper to taste.
How to make chili sauce:
Serve in a nice plate with... store-bought chips! Lays is the best thing for someone like me who find no time to fry real potato chips :P
And here it is...
He even complimented the chef by scoring 10 (Out of 10? Of course!)
And we both had ice cream for dessert, mini ice cream.
What a wholesome Saturdate!
So, while Y hadn't arrived yet and Pak Diman was still around, I asked Pak Diman to drive me to the nearest grocery store. There were several menu items in my head and I wasn't able to decide what to cook that moment. So I grabbed all the things I needed: buns, cheese frankfurters, ground beef, onions, soy sauce, ice cream, coffee and chips. When I finally got back home, with a fixed menu in my head, I rushed to the kitchen and started to cook a beefy cheesy wholesome chili dog (without the heat, of course).
Here's the simplest recipe. It's a combination of Beef Bolognaise sauce and hot dog. Easy peasy.
Chili Sauce:
250g ground beef
4 tbsp of store-bought bolognaise sauce
1 onion
2 tbsp of tomato sauce (optional)
1 tsp of oregano
grated parmesan or cheddar cheese (depends on how cheesy you want it to be. For me, the more, the merrier :D)
1 tbsp butter
2 cloves of garlic, finely minced
Salt and pepper to taste.
How to make chili sauce:
- Sautee the garlic and onion with butter until they get soft
- Stir in the ground beef until half cooked
- Put bolognaise sauce, oregano and cheese. You may want to reserve some cheese to top the dog later.
- Cook for 4 minutes. Don't forget to put salt and pepper and taste. If it tastes good, then you're fine :D
Serve in a nice plate with... store-bought chips! Lays is the best thing for someone like me who find no time to fry real potato chips :P
And here it is...
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| Beefy Cheesy Chili Dog |
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| Big Bite |
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| Yeaaaay! :D |
And we both had ice cream for dessert, mini ice cream.
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| Ice Cream + You = :) |
What a wholesome Saturdate!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Earphones Were Created For Some Reasons
Hey mister!
Have you ever wondered why earphones or headphones (whatever the name) were created? What? You haven't? Okay, let me tell you some things, that I think, were the reasons why they created such things. It only took simple logic to find out the reasons, so I think, I think, you, yourself, know them so well. Because, you look (and act) like a smart-ass. But let me help you out because maybe you're too smart for these simple elaborations.
First of all, people are born individually. Each person has their own things. Each person has their own preferences for everything, e.g. how they like their steaks done, how they choose color for t-shirt, what is their best time to enjoy coffee, what kind of music they listen to, and so on.
The earphones, by the way, were created to meet the specific preference of music. Some people want to listen their favorite songs and enjoy them all alone. Because, maybe, they don't want anybody else to know what are they listening to at the moment. Some people need to solemnly enjoy their songs with minimum noises. Because, again, maybe, they need to listen to each sound in detail. Or maybe they just want to get the 'mood' from the song. Or, maybe... they just don't want to disturb others with the songs they're playing, just because they're sociable.
Sociable? Yes. And 'social' is the keyword to my second reason. People are social creatures. We literally depend on each other. We share the air, we live on the same planet. We belong to the community, thus, we need to compromise. We have to respect each other. We cannot force somebody to like what they don't like. Even though it's something we deeply love. We cannot share everything, just because we think it's okay to share it. So, when you have your own playlist with songs you love, doesn't mean everybody has to listen to them too, right? What if they hate the songs? What if they cannot work with songs? What if your choice of songs frustrate them? That is why earphones are created.
There you go. My own top reasons why earphones were created. So, why don't you plug your earphones into your ears and stop bothering us with your playlist. Why everybody else plug their earphones and you're not? Mind your surroundings, would you?
But, please don't misinterpret those reasons. There are times when you have to plug out your earphones and start to listen to your surroundings. There are times when you need to listen to what other brings.
Have you ever wondered why earphones or headphones (whatever the name) were created? What? You haven't? Okay, let me tell you some things, that I think, were the reasons why they created such things. It only took simple logic to find out the reasons, so I think, I think, you, yourself, know them so well. Because, you look (and act) like a smart-ass. But let me help you out because maybe you're too smart for these simple elaborations.
First of all, people are born individually. Each person has their own things. Each person has their own preferences for everything, e.g. how they like their steaks done, how they choose color for t-shirt, what is their best time to enjoy coffee, what kind of music they listen to, and so on.
The earphones, by the way, were created to meet the specific preference of music. Some people want to listen their favorite songs and enjoy them all alone. Because, maybe, they don't want anybody else to know what are they listening to at the moment. Some people need to solemnly enjoy their songs with minimum noises. Because, again, maybe, they need to listen to each sound in detail. Or maybe they just want to get the 'mood' from the song. Or, maybe... they just don't want to disturb others with the songs they're playing, just because they're sociable.
Sociable? Yes. And 'social' is the keyword to my second reason. People are social creatures. We literally depend on each other. We share the air, we live on the same planet. We belong to the community, thus, we need to compromise. We have to respect each other. We cannot force somebody to like what they don't like. Even though it's something we deeply love. We cannot share everything, just because we think it's okay to share it. So, when you have your own playlist with songs you love, doesn't mean everybody has to listen to them too, right? What if they hate the songs? What if they cannot work with songs? What if your choice of songs frustrate them? That is why earphones are created.
There you go. My own top reasons why earphones were created. So, why don't you plug your earphones into your ears and stop bothering us with your playlist. Why everybody else plug their earphones and you're not? Mind your surroundings, would you?
But, please don't misinterpret those reasons. There are times when you have to plug out your earphones and start to listen to your surroundings. There are times when you need to listen to what other brings.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
It’s not about the teacher, it’s about the lesson.
This is me, talking to myself. Just because, I have to. Yeah, I have to talk to myself about being a tougher person. So, pardon me. Let me do this lecture for myself, the girl who always let somebody breaks her heart.
Here's how you should deal with it.
You see yourself learning every single day. That's a good way to start everything. But, you seem like you cannot deal with every possible teacher to teach you how to live a life. Do you?
You may want your ideal life taught by ideal-kind-at-heart teachers like... grandpa, mom, uncle, Y, you name it. But, the fact is.. you cannot choose your teacher. It is almost as impossible as choosing your birth mom. Every day you meet new persons, and every day you learn something from them. They may teach you in a hard way or in a nice way. Either way, it's the lesson that counts.
They may be very mean to you. They may break your heart into pieces with their comments, their judgements, their stern eyes, their high voice. But somehow, they teach you something. Something very good for you.
You cannot ask everybody to be very nice to you. You just can't. All you have to do is keep seeking lessons from them, from their viciousness, and keep learning how to be a better person.
Do you understand?
Here's how you should deal with it.
You see yourself learning every single day. That's a good way to start everything. But, you seem like you cannot deal with every possible teacher to teach you how to live a life. Do you?
You may want your ideal life taught by ideal-kind-at-heart teachers like... grandpa, mom, uncle, Y, you name it. But, the fact is.. you cannot choose your teacher. It is almost as impossible as choosing your birth mom. Every day you meet new persons, and every day you learn something from them. They may teach you in a hard way or in a nice way. Either way, it's the lesson that counts.
They may be very mean to you. They may break your heart into pieces with their comments, their judgements, their stern eyes, their high voice. But somehow, they teach you something. Something very good for you.
You cannot ask everybody to be very nice to you. You just can't. All you have to do is keep seeking lessons from them, from their viciousness, and keep learning how to be a better person.
Do you understand?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Bittersweet last days at the office
During the whole month of October 2010, I experienced the best things that ever happened in my life: amazing birthday, bittersweet last days at the office, and trip to Central Java. This post is about how I spent my October at the office, because I appreciated every single little thing that happened then.
Like..
My last bus rides. I watched the sky as if I would never see it again. I played the same playlist so whenever I hear the songs, I would remember how I felt that day.
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| Blue sky morning and Train's Hey Soul Sister |
My overtime work because of the Sale thingy, accompanied by friends and crappy dinner.
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| Pile of compilations and tumblr as a sweeeet distraction |
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| Toast and tea in the evening |
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| Totally not cool when it's empty |
The presence of Y when he got back to work and the fact that I'm not gonna see him sit next to my desk every day...
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| Turn left and there's you |
The cramped aisle, crowded friends with the color-coordinated t-shirts who were busy doing something or nothing.
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| I love when we were wearing same color of outfits coincidentally |
Early breakfast with Y, yes with him only, that early! hahaha.. But, the long table soon completed with other friends and breakfast turned into something more exciting.
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| He came early for the last 2 weeks just because.. ^^ |
Lunch and coffee after that. I knew I was gonna miss this moment! I could not ask for better lunch-mates and barista!
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| Lunch time happiness |
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| I'm so gonna miss her caramel macchiato |
The surprise farewell party, hosted by the big boss and totally supported by everyone. I could not say a better word for it. I felt so blessed, I am very thankful for that, and of course... I LOVE THE PRESENTS!! :D These great pictures were taken by mas Eja, our photographer. Thank you, mas!
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And... this.. another thing I am gonna miss. Photo booth session! These are my last photo booth session with them. Glad that Uncle joined!
On October 2009, I got hired and on October 2010 I chose to leave the office for good. I met great friends, fell in love, learned a lot, laughed too much, and cried like a baby. But no matter how far I go, I will always remember this experience, especially the little things.
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| So long, friends... wish me luck! Photo credit: Yanuar Ishak |
I love you, guys :)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I’m 24 and in love with my life even more
This is a backtracking post for October 23, 2010, yes.. my birthday :)
I remember how I felt that night.
It was way past eleven in the evening and I was already on my bed, trying to sleep. Then, Ditha texted me, wishing me a happy birthday in advance just because in KL, was already October 23. Funny how her text reminded me it's already a year since I had my last birthday. It felt like it's been more than 4 years ago.
Minutes after that, Y called and made that night hysterical and worth remembering. The rest is our story to keep.
This is how happy I was that night.
And with this picture, I proudly revised my own statement of white lilies.
And then, there's always dinner, cake, gifts and loved ones..
And the happiness continued until the next day. I got another sweet surprise from my high school girls, and the most sumptuous lunch at Nanny's Pavilion. Photo credits: Humairah Razak
and... hold on for sec.. The Vampire Weekend's concert with privilege of VIP free pass!! Thanks for Mba Jennis :* By the way, it's our first concert, and it's awesome enough to be remembered.
Thanks for everyone, and special thanks for Y, for being (almost) 24 hours by my side on my important day.
I remember how I felt that night.
It was way past eleven in the evening and I was already on my bed, trying to sleep. Then, Ditha texted me, wishing me a happy birthday in advance just because in KL, was already October 23. Funny how her text reminded me it's already a year since I had my last birthday. It felt like it's been more than 4 years ago.
Minutes after that, Y called and made that night hysterical and worth remembering. The rest is our story to keep.
This is how happy I was that night.
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| Blame yourself, hun! You're vanished and didn't get a chance to see my happy face! |
And with this picture, I proudly revised my own statement of white lilies.
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| WHITE LILIES!!!! I love youuuu! :* |
And then, there's always dinner, cake, gifts and loved ones..
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| Almost-melted-yet-still-tempting Strawberry Cheese Cake |
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| I couldn't ask for more gifts :) |
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| Parents who brought me to this world 24 years ago |
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| Bro and sis-in-law |
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| Heeey ;) |
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| Baby brother and sister who are no longer babies |
And the happiness continued until the next day. I got another sweet surprise from my high school girls, and the most sumptuous lunch at Nanny's Pavilion. Photo credits: Humairah Razak
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| Unexpected cake :) |
 | |
| Empty plates, fully-loaded tummies and hearts |
and... hold on for sec.. The Vampire Weekend's concert with privilege of VIP free pass!! Thanks for Mba Jennis :* By the way, it's our first concert, and it's awesome enough to be remembered.
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| Pouty VIP, hahahaha.. Photo credit: Yanuar Ishak |
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| AWESOME! Photo credit: Puti Karen Bolang |
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Yeaaay for Yo'i shoes and Y!!
Finally! After several visits to several shoe stores, including those online shops, I got my new yo'i shoes! It was a regular Saturday morning until I decided to buy that pair of Kappa shoes. Luckily, Y was there to accompany me. He was super nice, not grumpy or cranky at all, hihihi..
It took us (me, sorry, hahaha) to (over) analyzed those shoes. After several laps, chit-chat over coffee, bunch of rational advices and opinions from Y and a moment sitting on a try-on-shoes bench, I decided to buy the manly shoes, instead that girly shoes.Yeah, the one I wore in my right foot.
Finally, Cinderella has new pair of yo'i shoes. The old ones are now rest in peace, but will remain in my heart always. But I still want the girly shoes, I don't know why!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaa... I told him about it and we somehow agreed to buy the girly shoes next month. YEAAAH!
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| He was not grumpy, trust me. He just didn't know I took his picture ^^v |
It took us (me, sorry, hahaha) to (over) analyzed those shoes. After several laps, chit-chat over coffee, bunch of rational advices and opinions from Y and a moment sitting on a try-on-shoes bench, I decided to buy the manly shoes, instead that girly shoes.Yeah, the one I wore in my right foot.
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| Left or right? |
Finally, Cinderella has new pair of yo'i shoes. The old ones are now rest in peace, but will remain in my heart always. But I still want the girly shoes, I don't know why!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaa... I told him about it and we somehow agreed to buy the girly shoes next month. YEAAAH!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
To express love
I just hugged my little brother and told him how I missed him lately.
That kind of impulsive gesture of affection is actually not my thing. But I don't know, I just had the urge to hug him that moment, hahaha..
Not that I don't love him or everyone around me, no. I love him, I love my whole family, I love my friends and I love my love (heee..). And I love, for instance, when my mom hug me, when my uncle kiss my head like I'm still his favorite little niece, when my dad kiss my forehead on special occasion, when my little sister hold my arm, and when my big brother hug me. I just don't get used to do it to express how I love them, probably because I'm awkward and not the type of a clingy person. But not with my mom. I can hug her and kiss her and always hold her hand whenever we're together.
Anyway, I have this plenty of love and I'm learning to express it better.
That kind of impulsive gesture of affection is actually not my thing. But I don't know, I just had the urge to hug him that moment, hahaha..
Not that I don't love him or everyone around me, no. I love him, I love my whole family, I love my friends and I love my love (heee..). And I love, for instance, when my mom hug me, when my uncle kiss my head like I'm still his favorite little niece, when my dad kiss my forehead on special occasion, when my little sister hold my arm, and when my big brother hug me. I just don't get used to do it to express how I love them, probably because I'm awkward and not the type of a clingy person. But not with my mom. I can hug her and kiss her and always hold her hand whenever we're together.
Anyway, I have this plenty of love and I'm learning to express it better.
Sudden appreciation
Even though we're not hiding anything...
I love when I'm next to you and you're next to me but not as a copy writer and a graphic designer, and we don't have to worry about them and the crappy stuff.
I love when I'm next to you and you're next to me but not as a copy writer and a graphic designer, and we don't have to worry about them and the crappy stuff.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I do!
I feel the urge to say the word. Why? Because I do! I really really do. I'm not kidding. This is real.
Never say it is killing me. But I'm not quite brave enough.
I hate myself for being this stupid little coward :(
Never say it is killing me. But I'm not quite brave enough.
I hate myself for being this stupid little coward :(
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Saturday's sentimental mood
Oh dear God.
I'm in love.
With this life, with this feeling, with this imperfection, with this whole thing.
I am in love.
And as awkward as I am, I don't know how to express it.
Would you mind give me an idea or two?
I'm in love.
With this life, with this feeling, with this imperfection, with this whole thing.
I am in love.
And as awkward as I am, I don't know how to express it.
Would you mind give me an idea or two?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Terrifying true stories
I have written about how obvious yet vague love is, about a girl with a broken heart, about a girl in love but still feeling terrified, about the sudden hopes, and about how I see love as a very rational thing.
Just today, my two friends (both female and married) and I had conversation over lunch. They (yes, both of them, because I just listened) were telling true stories about their lives, their marriage lives. Their stories were sense awakening.
Here's the thing. Growing up with both parents still married is something I should be very very thankful. But growing up not knowing the dark side of the marriage life is something I should feel very sorry to my self.
Since I was a little girl, I keep dreaming of a perfect life, a fairy tale kind of life. That someday I'd meet a gentle man, fall in love so deeply, marry him and have children with his last name. How he'd be a super dad, a lovely hubby and a true best friend to me. I never had a thought that he'd cheat on me, that he'd love to tell lies to me, and he'd do many terrible things to me.
Don't get me wrong. I am not naive. I know that there's a gray area, an area that is unfamiliar to me. I know that the world is an awesome yet at the same time an awful place to live. I know that people sometimes can be very ignorant and mean. I know that words are more dangerous than any lethal weapons and such words can be said by anyone including those who are supposed to be the nicest persons on earth. And, sorry guys, I know that most of men are mean and worth to be labeled as jerks.
To be fair enough, I know that girls can be soooo annoying and whiney and too irrational. I know that girls are easily attached, easy to gain trust from men, and bruise easily. Girls also can be jerks, I admit that. Well, fair enough, huh?
But when I wrote about how I have met gentle men, jerks, megalomaniacs, clueless men, and bipolar man... To be exact, I haven't met the bad-ass jerks yet!
And from the conversation, there's a lot of chances that I might marry a jerk.
How terrifying..
Just today, my two friends (both female and married) and I had conversation over lunch. They (yes, both of them, because I just listened) were telling true stories about their lives, their marriage lives. Their stories were sense awakening.
Here's the thing. Growing up with both parents still married is something I should be very very thankful. But growing up not knowing the dark side of the marriage life is something I should feel very sorry to my self.
Since I was a little girl, I keep dreaming of a perfect life, a fairy tale kind of life. That someday I'd meet a gentle man, fall in love so deeply, marry him and have children with his last name. How he'd be a super dad, a lovely hubby and a true best friend to me. I never had a thought that he'd cheat on me, that he'd love to tell lies to me, and he'd do many terrible things to me.
Don't get me wrong. I am not naive. I know that there's a gray area, an area that is unfamiliar to me. I know that the world is an awesome yet at the same time an awful place to live. I know that people sometimes can be very ignorant and mean. I know that words are more dangerous than any lethal weapons and such words can be said by anyone including those who are supposed to be the nicest persons on earth. And, sorry guys, I know that most of men are mean and worth to be labeled as jerks.
To be fair enough, I know that girls can be soooo annoying and whiney and too irrational. I know that girls are easily attached, easy to gain trust from men, and bruise easily. Girls also can be jerks, I admit that. Well, fair enough, huh?
But when I wrote about how I have met gentle men, jerks, megalomaniacs, clueless men, and bipolar man... To be exact, I haven't met the bad-ass jerks yet!
And from the conversation, there's a lot of chances that I might marry a jerk.
How terrifying..
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Talking about me, you, your "love", and my love for you
Okay, let me tell you something..
When I wrote this, I was 23 years and 9 months old. I've been in several hook-ups and break-ups. I know how 'falling in love' feels like. I know how that broken heart is such a pain in the ass. I've met gentle men, jerks, megalomaniacs, clueless men, and bipolar man.
All I want to say is.. that LOVE is such a rational thing. It involves emotion, instinct, intuition and romance, but it really is a very very rational thing. Love is there, love is everywhere, love is never there. Love stays, love grows, love goes away. Love is happiness, love is pain.
I'm glad that I see such thing as love as a rational thing. Because, if I don't have such mindset, I'd end up killing my self whenever I have a broken heart. And I will not do that. My life is too precious to be taken away buy such jerks. I still have my people who loves me unconditionally, and I will always have God the Almighty.
So, dear you, my girl... Please.. please get over him!
I love you, your mom loves you, your late father loves you, your brothers love you, and you still got bunch of friends who will always be there for you. You're pretty and funny and very kind at heart. Why waste your time and energy to grieve over him?
When I wrote this, I was 23 years and 9 months old. I've been in several hook-ups and break-ups. I know how 'falling in love' feels like. I know how that broken heart is such a pain in the ass. I've met gentle men, jerks, megalomaniacs, clueless men, and bipolar man.
All I want to say is.. that LOVE is such a rational thing. It involves emotion, instinct, intuition and romance, but it really is a very very rational thing. Love is there, love is everywhere, love is never there. Love stays, love grows, love goes away. Love is happiness, love is pain.
I'm glad that I see such thing as love as a rational thing. Because, if I don't have such mindset, I'd end up killing my self whenever I have a broken heart. And I will not do that. My life is too precious to be taken away buy such jerks. I still have my people who loves me unconditionally, and I will always have God the Almighty.
So, dear you, my girl... Please.. please get over him!
I love you, your mom loves you, your late father loves you, your brothers love you, and you still got bunch of friends who will always be there for you. You're pretty and funny and very kind at heart. Why waste your time and energy to grieve over him?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
"What more can you be than the things they say you've been"
It's early in the morning. The sky's gray and rain drops kept falling gently. The air was too cold but here I felt the warmth from each one of us. We're laughing over inside jokes and it felt so good to have a good laugh until we hurt our stomach. Uncle then started to play his morning play list. But this morning, he had a slightly different play list. This was the order..
I love Seal's Love's Divine and the fact that both the music and lyrics literally are divine. And then along came Simply Red's Say You Love Me. No doubt, that is one of my ultimate favorite songs. But how come I got the meaning of the song just now?
So, isn't IT the most obvious yet vague thing?
You decide, ^^v
- Seal - Love's Divine
- Simply Red - Say You Love Me
- Judy Garland - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
I love Seal's Love's Divine and the fact that both the music and lyrics literally are divine. And then along came Simply Red's Say You Love Me. No doubt, that is one of my ultimate favorite songs. But how come I got the meaning of the song just now?
I've been around so many times
That the world's turning in my mind
What do I think of it?
Oh it's so so
What more can you be than the things they say you've been...
So, isn't IT the most obvious yet vague thing?
You decide, ^^v
To attach and detach love
She is experiencing probably the most painful heartbreak. She is still in love but has nothing left to say or do to keep such love. She really is in pain and she even cries unconsciously. She only needs time to heal the wound. She keeps telling herself not to be very devastated, but she cannot help it. It is her first heartbreak experience, but she is very thankful to learn something so important in her life: to attach and detach love, to love not with all her life, and to keep loving herself and her other love of her life.
Right now she is still very terrifying.
She is holding on her feelings, keeping her away from the euphoria. She is trying her best to stay cool. In fact, she really is head over heels. She wants to do and tell things, yet she keeps silent and acts nothing. But her heart, her one and only heart, is about to be exploded. She may lose her power to hold on. One day, she will scream at the top of her lungs, shout her heart out loud. She'll deafening people surround her with her extraordinary confession. But she's a major coward. Right now she is still very terrifying.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sudden hopes
I hope that this is worth fighting, worth crying, worth laughing, worth waiting and worth living.
I hope that we will never lose it. That we will always have reasons to keep it.
I hope that we will always be as good as we are, even when we're at our worst.
I hope that we will always have the great will to learn from each other and will never give up on each other.
Dear God..
Amin..
I hope that we will never lose it. That we will always have reasons to keep it.
I hope that we will always be as good as we are, even when we're at our worst.
I hope that we will always have the great will to learn from each other and will never give up on each other.
Dear God..
Amin..
Monday, July 5, 2010
'Sorry' for your own sake
Why the word 'Apology' and 'Sorry', to me, both really has a hint of pity and a slightly taste of bitterness? It might be the hardest word to say, but on the other side, it might be the only word someone needs to hear. It has the ability to heal, to fix, to re-construct, even to erase the darkest memory.
Let's talk it rationally, I mean, don't put sincerity on it. Let's just talk about apology.
When two men conflict, none of them will voluntarily plead guilty. None. At least on the very peak of the conflict, no one will. Yet both of them keep hurting each other with words, things that are dangerous than any lethal weapon.
When conflict occurs, both men are guilty. Though it might not in a 50-50 kind of way, but both are responsible to it. But this fact is not easily acceptable. Who would accept to be guilty anyway, huh?
If one of them, in a gentle-man kind of way, consciously asking for apology, things are different. When the word 'sorry' first said, it calms the nerve. It speaks to the heart, the human heart.
Sorry is not the word to loser. No. Sorry is the word to show that we are aware of our acts that somehow hurt somebody. It's a word of responsibility. It's a word of peace.
If, after that, the other part has no sign to reconcile with us, then forget it. At least we're fully responsible to ourselves and brave enough to show it.
Say 'sorry', please..
Better if you put a teaspoon of sincerity in it.
It's for your own sake :)
Let's talk it rationally, I mean, don't put sincerity on it. Let's just talk about apology.
When two men conflict, none of them will voluntarily plead guilty. None. At least on the very peak of the conflict, no one will. Yet both of them keep hurting each other with words, things that are dangerous than any lethal weapon.
When conflict occurs, both men are guilty. Though it might not in a 50-50 kind of way, but both are responsible to it. But this fact is not easily acceptable. Who would accept to be guilty anyway, huh?
If one of them, in a gentle-man kind of way, consciously asking for apology, things are different. When the word 'sorry' first said, it calms the nerve. It speaks to the heart, the human heart.
Sorry is not the word to loser. No. Sorry is the word to show that we are aware of our acts that somehow hurt somebody. It's a word of responsibility. It's a word of peace.
If, after that, the other part has no sign to reconcile with us, then forget it. At least we're fully responsible to ourselves and brave enough to show it.
Say 'sorry', please..
Better if you put a teaspoon of sincerity in it.
It's for your own sake :)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My broken time frame refer to Travis' albums
Office, 15.30
I heard Travis' 3 Times and You Lose from Uchil's computer while I was rephrasing words for the darn green leaflet.
"Wow, you finally downloaded Travis' latest album!"
He grinned.
"Have you listened to track 12? It has a hidden song, which is a great song."
Then we talked about it for a moment. We shared our similar experience of being surprised by the sudden 'appearance' of the hidden track.
Then the last song from the album ended. After that, I heard a not-so-familiar song, but I knew exactly the voice of the singer.
"Sounds like Fran Healy..." I mention Travis' vocalist.
"It's still Travis," he answered.
"Really? What's the title of the song?"
"Ode to J Smith."
I had my moment to recall. "Never heard that before."
He said, "It's on their last album. You know, the last last one, before Fran decided to go solo."
I was surprised. "What?"
"Yeah, that's why I was pretty much confused when you told me to download their last album, The Boy With No Name. Their last album is titled Ode to J Smith."
"What?" I repeated my surprise line.
He didn't say a word.
I grabbed my mouse and started to Google.
"Ode to J Smith is released on September 2008 and I thought The Boy With No Name was their last one!"
"That's what I knew," he mumbled.
"Where have I been? It's been two years! Oh good God, I missed it!"
I kept reading the articles.
"I exactly remember that The Boy With No Name was released in 2007 because that time, I was finishing my final project with Dania and she kept singing the Closer's line of 'lean on me now' with 'mino mina'. But, I really really wasn't aware of their next album! Oh, what kind of fan I am?!"
He did nothing but giggled.
I think my time frame has broken. I should be more aware of time now. Or, I may miss something more important than Travis' album and Fran Healy's solo album.
I may miss my life, don't you think?
I heard Travis' 3 Times and You Lose from Uchil's computer while I was rephrasing words for the darn green leaflet.
"Wow, you finally downloaded Travis' latest album!"
He grinned.
"Have you listened to track 12? It has a hidden song, which is a great song."
Then we talked about it for a moment. We shared our similar experience of being surprised by the sudden 'appearance' of the hidden track.
Then the last song from the album ended. After that, I heard a not-so-familiar song, but I knew exactly the voice of the singer.
"Sounds like Fran Healy..." I mention Travis' vocalist.
"It's still Travis," he answered.
"Really? What's the title of the song?"
"Ode to J Smith."
I had my moment to recall. "Never heard that before."
He said, "It's on their last album. You know, the last last one, before Fran decided to go solo."
I was surprised. "What?"
"Yeah, that's why I was pretty much confused when you told me to download their last album, The Boy With No Name. Their last album is titled Ode to J Smith."
"What?" I repeated my surprise line.
He didn't say a word.
I grabbed my mouse and started to Google.
"Ode to J Smith is released on September 2008 and I thought The Boy With No Name was their last one!"
"That's what I knew," he mumbled.
"Where have I been? It's been two years! Oh good God, I missed it!"
I kept reading the articles.
"I exactly remember that The Boy With No Name was released in 2007 because that time, I was finishing my final project with Dania and she kept singing the Closer's line of 'lean on me now' with 'mino mina'. But, I really really wasn't aware of their next album! Oh, what kind of fan I am?!"
He did nothing but giggled.
I think my time frame has broken. I should be more aware of time now. Or, I may miss something more important than Travis' album and Fran Healy's solo album.
I may miss my life, don't you think?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
From Ramen to Coffee and Donuts to Baby
Oh finally!
We finally met! Yes. My best friend and I finally met after months of separation. Well... we're not separated that much, but.. you know.. We failed to manage the meet-up.
Today, I rushed from campus to meet her. I had to attend Dania's thesis presentation first in the morning. I had to face the usual Saturday traffic jam all the way from UI Depok to Lenteng Agung.
Anyway, I finally made to Citos safe and sound.
We were starving that time and decided to had our lunch at Ramen 38. It's our first time. We ordered the Jigoku Ramen. Level 3 for me, level 4 for her. She was kinda disappointed but I am truly amazed with that. I love it. I will order the milder version (maybe level 2) next time.
After that, we moved to J.Co. We needed to talk, and we needed a less-crowded place to talk. So, J.Co it was.
I gave her late birthday present (a month late). As I expected, she was very happy with that The Body Shop White Musk Body Mist.
"How did you know I love the scent?! This is my most favorite scent but I never had it. Now I have one bottle to pamper myself!" She was ecstatic, I was glad.
"I've known you for years, Neng. Though you never told me your favorite scent, I think I have the talent to predict the most suitable scent for you. It's a talent, remember that, hahahaha"
I was happy I finally got to meet her and told her bunch of stories of my life that I kept away from her. She did the same thing too. She spilled many things. We talked about future and how are we going to make it.
She gave a strong statement too that day. She said, "you need someone older and wiser. You know.. you're maybe young and bubbly like a kiddo, but you're very mature. "Average" man can never understand your thoughts and feeling. Only certain man, brave and mature one, can grab your hand and walk towards the future with you."
*Sigh.
Then we had silent moment. I kept thinking while enjoying the Cappuccino Tiramisu while she kept thumb-typing her BlackBerry.
My eyes then catch a very cute little boy with his daddy, I guess. They sat in the back seats. Suddenly, that little boy called us and shook our hands. With the help from his dad, he introduced himself. The name is Fabian, and he's such a cutie!
I grabbed my camera and made it on a stand-by position. I asked his dad's permission and he allowed me to take his pictures.
Well.. it seemed like he enjoyed our company and enjoyed being photographed with us.
I love his eyes, and his smile, and his squishy baby fat allover his body, and his curly hair. OH MY! I fell for him too fast!
"I want him. I want a baby like him," I mumbled.
"I love my boyfriend. I want to marry him," she followed.
We laughed.
I love that Saturday afternoon with her. I love that she's still the same, the one I can share my hope with, the one who can give me the most honest statement. No matter how hard it is to meet her, I will always be waiting for our next meet-up.
We finally met! Yes. My best friend and I finally met after months of separation. Well... we're not separated that much, but.. you know.. We failed to manage the meet-up.
Today, I rushed from campus to meet her. I had to attend Dania's thesis presentation first in the morning. I had to face the usual Saturday traffic jam all the way from UI Depok to Lenteng Agung.
Anyway, I finally made to Citos safe and sound.
We were starving that time and decided to had our lunch at Ramen 38. It's our first time. We ordered the Jigoku Ramen. Level 3 for me, level 4 for her. She was kinda disappointed but I am truly amazed with that. I love it. I will order the milder version (maybe level 2) next time.
 |
| Nomm..nomm... |
 |
| Piping Hot Ramen |
After that, we moved to J.Co. We needed to talk, and we needed a less-crowded place to talk. So, J.Co it was.
I gave her late birthday present (a month late). As I expected, she was very happy with that The Body Shop White Musk Body Mist.
"How did you know I love the scent?! This is my most favorite scent but I never had it. Now I have one bottle to pamper myself!" She was ecstatic, I was glad.
 |
| Happy and smell musky |
"I've known you for years, Neng. Though you never told me your favorite scent, I think I have the talent to predict the most suitable scent for you. It's a talent, remember that, hahahaha"
I was happy I finally got to meet her and told her bunch of stories of my life that I kept away from her. She did the same thing too. She spilled many things. We talked about future and how are we going to make it.
She gave a strong statement too that day. She said, "you need someone older and wiser. You know.. you're maybe young and bubbly like a kiddo, but you're very mature. "Average" man can never understand your thoughts and feeling. Only certain man, brave and mature one, can grab your hand and walk towards the future with you."
*Sigh.
Then we had silent moment. I kept thinking while enjoying the Cappuccino Tiramisu while she kept thumb-typing her BlackBerry.
 |
| Eyes on whipped cream |
 |
| Eyes on BlackBerry |
My eyes then catch a very cute little boy with his daddy, I guess. They sat in the back seats. Suddenly, that little boy called us and shook our hands. With the help from his dad, he introduced himself. The name is Fabian, and he's such a cutie!
I grabbed my camera and made it on a stand-by position. I asked his dad's permission and he allowed me to take his pictures.
Well.. it seemed like he enjoyed our company and enjoyed being photographed with us.
 |
| Fabian, can I keep you? |
I love his eyes, and his smile, and his squishy baby fat allover his body, and his curly hair. OH MY! I fell for him too fast!
"I want him. I want a baby like him," I mumbled.
"I love my boyfriend. I want to marry him," she followed.
We laughed.
I love that Saturday afternoon with her. I love that she's still the same, the one I can share my hope with, the one who can give me the most honest statement. No matter how hard it is to meet her, I will always be waiting for our next meet-up.
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