I have written about how obvious yet vague love is, about a girl with a broken heart, about a girl in love but still feeling terrified, about the sudden hopes, and about how I see love as a very rational thing.
Just today, my two friends (both female and married) and I had conversation over lunch. They (yes, both of them, because I just listened) were telling true stories about their lives, their marriage lives. Their stories were sense awakening.
Here's the thing. Growing up with both parents still married is something I should be very very thankful. But growing up not knowing the dark side of the marriage life is something I should feel very sorry to my self.
Since I was a little girl, I keep dreaming of a perfect life, a fairy tale kind of life. That someday I'd meet a gentle man, fall in love so deeply, marry him and have children with his last name. How he'd be a super dad, a lovely hubby and a true best friend to me. I never had a thought that he'd cheat on me, that he'd love to tell lies to me, and he'd do many terrible things to me.
Don't get me wrong. I am not naive. I know that there's a gray area, an area that is unfamiliar to me. I know that the world is an awesome yet at the same time an awful place to live. I know that people sometimes can be very ignorant and mean. I know that words are more dangerous than any lethal weapons and such words can be said by anyone including those who are supposed to be the nicest persons on earth. And, sorry guys, I know that most of men are mean and worth to be labeled as jerks.
To be fair enough, I know that girls can be soooo annoying and whiney and too irrational. I know that girls are easily attached, easy to gain trust from men, and bruise easily. Girls also can be jerks, I admit that. Well, fair enough, huh?
But when I wrote about how I have met gentle men, jerks, megalomaniacs, clueless men, and bipolar man... To be exact, I haven't met the bad-ass jerks yet!
And from the conversation, there's a lot of chances that I might marry a jerk.
How terrifying..
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